Life, it used to be so simple. Some days I really wonder what I was thinking having children. Life was so easy before. I kept to myself, minding my own business, and stayed away from drama. Don't get me wrong, I love my children. They were wanted then and still are. And the first few years were so GREAT! I had a happy family and we, again, kept to ourselves and life was good. But now, they are older. They are mingling with others of all walks of life. And boy has life gotten complicated! For the most part, I have surrounded myself with people who support me, and I in turn support them. We give each other words of encouragement, and advice when it's needed. But recently it seems that I've run into a top that I feel like I'm standing on the less crowded side of the fence.
I am not a proponent of violence, by any means. I mean, seriously? I am probably one of the most "wimpiest" people out there. I never learned any self-defense, My body is so sensitive to touch that what most people find just pressure, I feel as pain, and I just don't like people to be angry with me or to not like me. I remember as I child, my father flat out telling me that he could not see me really defending myself, even when I needed to...he'd tell me things like "go for the eyes" but then turn around and say, "I don't think you have enough in you to do that; you are just too nice." I, of course, as a child never wanted to admit it, but he's right. I hate it, but even to this day, I really don't know how much "damage" I could do, but probably not enough if I found myself in one of those situations.
But I've been around the block a few times. I've experienced so much, and seen and heard even more. We all like to talk about how we don't know like where the world is going. And most of us even have suggestions as to why the world is "so wrong" and what needs to be done to "fix it". But this is such a complicated issue, that there is no one solution. But I can talk about one cause, grant it it is ONLY ONE.
Men in the last generation or so, overall, do not have the respect they used to for women. Now I'm an equal opportunity person, and it is true that women do not respect men or other women for that matter, as much anymore. Heck, there just is a much lower general level of respect period.
I think this world has made some great advances over the past couple of centuries. Although frankly, when it comes to human nature, I don't think we've evolved into anything better over time. In fact, I think our society in general, has gotten worse. Now sure, we've always had murder and rape and pregnancy out of wedlock. But there seemed to be less patience and tolerance for that kind of thing in the past.
I want to specifically talk about how men think of women. No doubt, women's suffrage and women's role in society has changed a great deal. And these are changes I agree have been for the better. But it wasn't too long ago, men would open doors for women, carry their heavy bags, help them out of a burning building first, etc. And of course, men can argue that with the feminine movement there are many women out there that do not wish for men to open doors or pull out chairs. I understand that. And I understand that not knowing which kind of woman you are dealing with can be a bit nerve wracking.
I was raised in a pretty old fashioned home, apparently. And apparently my parents did a bang-up job of instilling what they wanted my values to be in me because I am still, after all these years, pretty firm in what they taught me. It's not just blind faith in my parents' values though. I have seen the pros and cons of living the way they did and do. And frankly, man are things less complicated that way!
A person's honor is very important. If they don't have anything else, they can still have their integrity. That is if they manage to keep it in a world that is constantly pulling at you from all directions. It's not an easy venture.
I remember growing up hearing something very similiar....your reputation is the most important thing you have. And in addition to that, came the familiar antedotes: "Don't ever do or say anything you wouldn't do or say infront of your mother," "Don't give the milk away for free...make him buy the cow," etc.
Now I'm not saying I haven't done anything that I am ashamed of...of course I have. But I have lived my life by these simple words. And I plan on raising my kids the same way. Grant it, it's not proving to be as easy. they are very strong willed children and are constantly being bombarded with ideas and influences that don't agree with my beliefs.
(I think I keep going off on a tanget, a bit)
I want my boys to be the type of boys that will defend others, especially girls, who need it. Obviously, first and foremost, I hope they will use their intellect to put their beliefs across. But I'm not naive. There are some circumstances where that just won't get it done. Honestly, I hope my children never find themselves in that situation, I really do. But if their honor or the honor of their sister, mother, aunt, girlfriend, etc is being questioned by a big oaf that just won't get the message unless physical force is used, then I don't see anything wrong with it.
But that's the problem isn't it? Gone are the days where boys didn't mess with girls for fear of big brother coming to whoop his rear-end. No instead, we protect the scum bags. They have rights too, it is said. I suppose, but honestly, why do we constantly defend the rights of those who hold no respect for others over those who were violated? Instead, it's the girl's fault. She shouldn't have been there, or shouldn't have been wearing what she was, or she shouldn't have looked like him. Whatever.
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